3 posts tagged “drinking”

I think I have finally scratched my itch.  I was really touched how so many people told me to be careful after my last post.  I know that my actions have been and somewhat may continue to be self destructive but I think I got most of it out of my system.  Last night was (hopefully) the end of it.  I had the best day ever with Erica.  We just hung out, went shopping and enjoyed the day.  We met her friend Rob at Dollar Taco and then went out down town.  We ended up getting totally wasted.  More wasted than I have ever been.  Nicole was there to witness the glory and I am glad she was cause it was a great time.  I saw a guy named Harris that I used to go to church and school at the Barbary and it was cool to catch up.  My cousin Rachel was so surprised when I told her who I saw. Here are some pictures of the evening....

Erica is cute when she txts

We bought matching shirts

Attack of Erica

Rob and Erica at Dollar Taco

At the Barbary

Harris Stoker!

Damn our shoes are hot!

Nicole and I

Umm...

Erica and Rich

Gretchen with Erica

I can get so sad lately I forget what I am doing.  I just sit there and stare off into space and try not to cry.  Its amazing how much of your own life turns into taboo after a breakup.  Like Mazzy Star, the BBC Office, and remembering anything that has happened in my life for the past 3 years.  The worst part honestly is work.  When I met my ex we worked together and then he left but I still work there.  On top of the for 3 years I always called him on my breaks.  Sometimes I will go to the breakroom and look at my phone and know I can't call.  I am trying to keep busy and not just lock myself in my house and never come out.  On Tuesday I actually ignored everyone's calls and just sent them a txt telling them I didn't feel like talking.  My biggest problem though is the drinking.  I used to never drink.  And I am not an alcoholic or anything but if an opportunity presents itself to drink, no matter what time of day, I take it.  I am not making bad decisions as far as drinking before or during work but I just like to go out or spend my days off at the bar. 

Anyways,  this may be a boring post.. could have summed it up with:  Im sad, drink too much, am way too self destructive right now.

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You know how you notice something and then every where you look you are aware of something that you weren't before.. Like how ugly crocs are and then everyone wears them lol.  It all started around Christmas time and my sister changed her ringtone to Journey's Don't Stop Believing.  I was like.. hmmm thats a good song.  Not like God that is my favorite.  But I didn't get why it was her ring tone.  First of all it is not a really new song and secondly, it doesn't really stand out as the ideal ring tone.  Now it seems like every where I go this damn song is is haunting me.  My cousin is in love with it too and requested it at Yosake.  Then when I went to the salon on Friday someone in the salon was singing it...

All this is building up to last night where I got drunk, stood on a stage and did fucking interpretative dance to this God Forsaken song.  I wasn't alone... it was actually quite funny but still ... I did it.  I hope to get a copy of the video but for now... just some memories of the night....

The amounts of embarrassment I subjected myself is terrible but it was good times.  You just had to be there...

Rachel, Josh and Rebecca